Letting Go Brought Me Back to My Dream
After quitting, clarity came. I returned to my dream with joy, not pressure—choosing creativity, softness, and slow success on my own terms.
There’s a moment when you realize: the dream didn’t leave you.
You were just becoming strong enough to meet it.
Part 3 of the Living with Big Dreams series: “When the Dream Grows Quiet.”
→ Read Part 1: The Confession
→ Read Part 2: The Quit
In Part 1, I confessed my scariest thought: that maybe my dream of becoming a novelist was over.
In Part 2, I walked away from fiction for two weeks. I quit on purpose.
Now in Part 3, I’m sharing what came next—because stepping away didn’t mean the dream died. It meant I returned with new clarity.
Stepping Away Changed Everything
I thought quitting would make me feel like a failure.
But it didn’t. It gave me breathing room.
For two weeks, I didn’t write. I didn’t force myself to figure anything out.
I took walks with Goose. I made slow food. I watched shows that made me laugh.
I let myself just be—without the pressure to prove anything.
And somewhere in all that stillness, something shifted.
The Break Gave Me More Than Writing Ever Could
I didn’t expect the break to be productive. That was the point.
But what I found was better than words on a page.
I realized I was pushing way too hard. I brought too many expectations to the page—about money, identity, and success. The novel had become my whole identity. If it didn’t work, who was I?
But something opened up in the pause.
I remembered that I love writing not because it might pay me someday,
but because it’s how I express myself.
Just knowing in my bones that this novel is an expression of me—and not some big splash into the world of fiction—changed everything. It brought me back to a place that felt more heart-centered and pure.
New roots. New strength.
Sometimes rest isn’t the end of the dream—it’s the beginning of deeper growth.
Writing Became Play Again
Around the same time, I landed part-time remote work with my beloved Peak Improv Theater. The job took pressure off the novel in unexpected ways.
I stopped funneling all my hope into the manuscript. I didn’t need it to succeed right now, because the theater gave me purpose, creative collaboration, and income. It reminded me what it’s like to be appreciated, to contribute, to work toward something bigger than myself.
Rather than an expectation, the novel became an escape.
The pressure to make my novel pay is gone. I still want to sell it and get paid, but I’m not putting all my words in one basket. That shift gave me the freedom to experiment—and play.
The Transformation Was Subtle But Deep
I used to think if I didn’t write a good story, I wouldn’t get an agent.
If I didn’t get an agent, I wouldn’t sell the book.
And if I didn’t sell the book, I’d failed.
But after the break, I started writing because it brought me joy.
That’s how I know I’m a lifer. I’ll keep writing novels until I die.
Someday I’ll get paid well for them. I’m certain of that.
But now I’m okay not knowing when.
This perspective is the difference between feeling blocked and letting it flow.
My Protagonist Is Struggling, Too
Interestingly, my protagonist is facing the same dilemma:
She’s built her life around performance.
Like me, she’s learning that her worth isn’t tied to output.
Writing her story is healing me in real time.
It’s a mirror. A map. A way back to myself.
The Structure Helped Too
The job also restructured my writing day in the best way.
Each morning starts with Darien Gee’s flash prompts.
Then four hours of fiction, an hour of Substack work, and four hours for Peak Improv.
The rhythm keeps me moving. When the clock’s ticking, there’s no time for doubt.
I get more done in one day than I used to in three.
A small, honest harvest is still a miracle.
Success isn’t measured by how much you produce—but by how true you stay to your path.
A Year In: Choosing the Dream Again—But on Different Terms
This week marks a milestone:
One year ago, I launched Living with Big Dreams—hoping my joys and struggles would inspire you to keep going.
I’m still going. But now, I’m going softer.
I’m going with joy.
I’m not chasing an outcome—I’m following the spark.
If You’re Feeling Stuck, Try Stepping Away
That’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned this year:
Sometimes the most productive thing you can do… is quit.
Not forever. Just long enough to reset your nervous system and remember your why.
If you’re trying to create something beautiful and it’s starting to feel heavy, take a break.
Let yourself be a person, not just a dream-chaser.
Let the dream rest. It might come back stronger.
Mine did.
This is Part 3 of 3.
→ Read Part 1: The Confession
→ Read Part 2: The Quit
Have you ever stepped away from a dream and come back to it more sure than ever? I’d love to hear. Drop a note in the comments.
Recommended Resources for Creative Breaks
These recommendations are based on what helped me during my break, and includes books readers left in the comments of Part 1 and Part 2.
Songs
Give it Time by Goose, my favorite jam band. This song kept me positive throughout my introspection of whether or not I want to be a career novelist. This band is emerging, even though they’ve been playing for ten years. They’re millionaires, but not widely known. Their persistence enabled them to eventually fill stadiums like Fiddlers Green in Denver. Another signal that big dreams are possible, and they don’t always come packaged as a household name. Often, their songs like On A Western Sun, All I Need, Tumble, and Undecided, serenade my tired dreaming heart because they’ve been there. For me, this band is the reason why artists must create, even when it’s hard—because our work matters.
Articles
Why Taking a Break From Your Art Can Boost Your Creativity
The Importance of Taking Breaks: Rest as a Tool for Creativity
Taking a Break from Art: The Importance of Rest for Creative Souls
Should You Take a Break from Writing? 5 Red Flags – K.M. Weiland (This is a long read, so make time for it.)
The Importance of Taking Breaks – Ari Meghlen
The Benefits of Taking a Writing Break – Lit Mag News
Why Taking Breaks is Important for Your Creative Process – Amy Isaman
Books
The Intuitive Author by Tiffany Yates Martin
Next!: The Power of Reinvention in Life and Work by Joanne Lipman
Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
Catching the Big Fish by David Lynch
Creative Calling by Chase Jarvis
The Writer’s Process by Anne Janzer
This was such an honest and restorative read. I love how you reframed stepping away not as failure, but as a kind of deep listening to yourself, to the dream. It’s a powerful reminder that growth often happens in the quiet. I love Goose also! 🐕
This is incredibly helpful in so many ways, thank you for sharing! I am so happy to hear this and love watching your journey continue to unfold.