I'd held "C" level jobs in high tech before the dot com crash served up my truth, that I was a writer--that I always had been a writer and that my corporate ladder climbing was literally barking up the wrong tree. I ended up taking a full-time job (bills and a roof over my head, etc.) in an industry I was trained for and cared about: healthcare. It was a job that paid well, had insane benefits and that I could do in a couple of hours a day, most days. The rest of the time I wrote (yes, at work). My first novel got decent agent interest, but no takers. I flailed a bit, then wrote the second one. It's out on query now. And I've started a third with a caveat: I'm giving myself this summer to do exploratory writing (Camille's suggestion of course, love her). Your dream will come back. Phil Stutz, an amazing psychiatrist who's written a couple of mind-blowing books claims that three things in life are unavoidable: pain, uncertainty and the need for constant work. Very Buddhist, and for me very true. None of that detracts from our dreams though--not avoiding reality imho helps strengthen them. Hugs for you, Marta. Can't wait to read the third installment.
Jacqueline, thank you for sharing that with me. You've travelled many roads. I love that you found well paying work with benefits that also gave you time to write. We all have to pay the bills and fit writing in somehow, until we're Katherine Center, Taylor Jenkins Reid, or Camille Pagán! I appreciate you sharing how you have a drawer draft. I think knowing how many writers have one helps. Good luck on your second round of queries! And thanks for the Stutz wisdom. It rings true. Let me know if I can help you. You can certainly count me in for an early review once #2 is agented and published. I'm grateful you're here, reading my words. <3
Thanks for this. Some of the blah feelings and disappointment around creativity and such can be traced to burnout that can sneak up on us. The way a dream shows up can be nothing like we imagine it. And it might mean stepping away for a while or, looking at old work and see it a new way. Looking forward to part 3!
I love this post. It made my day. Like Jacqueline, I too held several corporate jobs, many in high tech, many with the word "director" in the title, but I always felt like I was cosplaying a middle manager and making myself be something I'm not. Getting laid off in 2013 was a blessing--I started up my consulting business again, which allows me to (sort of) balance marketing writing and creativity writing. Looking forward to your next post.
Thanks for sharing, and I love knowing all of that about you. I especially liked how you described your corporate work as cosplay. I’ve never heard it described like that, but it totally fits.
YES, YES, YES--thank you for sharing. I needed to hear this. How wonderful that you have found a bridge and new perspective. It's easy to fall into the mind trap of "anything but writing = failure." I'm sure many readers can relate, I know I do. Looking forward to part 3!
Thank you, Rachel! "Anything but writing = failure" is absolutely the mindset I had. That bridge has given me more then I imagines, and I'm so grateful for it! I'm so glad you could relate to this my friend! <3
I love the talk about drawer babies. My first novel is in a drawer, so is the second, and two other completed manuscripts. Two of my editing/coaching clients found their agents on the second novel I helped them with. Writing a novel is a learned skill, and as much as you may love that first novel, it might not be the one that gets you there.
Thanks for that grounding wisdom, Kathy. Admitting that my baby might be a drawer draft was a hard possibility for me to receive. As I know it is for every writer. Shelving four must be extra hard, and brave. You know it's not where it needs to be so you take your lessons and try again. I appreciate you being here!
Nothing is more powerful than learning you can write multiple novels. It doesn't hurt to stick them in a drawer (anymore) because each of them made me a better writer. One of them got me through COVID, but should never see the light of day. I gave up after writing 50,000 words of romance because this isn't the year for happy endings. Instead, I turned to a more fitting novel about climate change. A world of potential books opened up for me after I set the first one aside.
Is the climate change book available yet? And is that why you read Andrew Boyd's book “I Want A Better Catastrophe”? (If you're who I think you are *wink.)
Gabi, I'm so glad. It's funny how we need permission to slow down. I'm trying to listen to my body more. It's totally on to me and knows I need a break way before my mind does.
I know you know, Reta! And I know you know how hard it is to do that. Somehow it feels like we're losing time, and that we don't have much to spare. Thanks for your wise comment.
OMG this -- "Still, we push. And then one day, we show up with nothing. No spark. No energy. No ideas. Worse, we don’t care. And in slinks the most terrifying thought: I need to get a real job." -- I've been there, and it's awful. The creative burnout that we pushed ourselves into, the driving need to make something financially sustainable with our work but the feeling of failure and doubt that we'll never be able to attain that 😔 It can be soul crushing.
And then "trusting the pause so we can begin again" - YES. When I started trying to be an entrepreneur creating a remote-based job for myself, I couldn't seem to allow for this and repeated cycles of overwork, hyperfocus to depletion, burnout, survival mode...endlessly confused and feeling like it was my fault for not being able to figure out how to make a sustainable remote-work life for myself and desperately NEEDING it at the same time. It's so true and powerful that rest is a part of creative work, AND that when you let go and allow the Universe to work in your favor, the right opportunities come along in your path 💖
Yes!! Yes to all the things you said. I'm learning a lot from you. "Cycles of overwork, hyperfocus to depletion, burnout, survival mode" is so me also! I'm getting better at it. This last break taught me a lot. Now I'm paying more attention the the physical signs of burnout--like the burning eyes you mentioned during our chat. And then I cut my day short! Thanks for being here, Kira. I love your energy.
Yes haha it can be hard to notice the signals our body is sending at first, especially when our mind wants to keep pushing and doing all the things, ESPECIALLY if we're in creative flow space LOL. Thanks for being here yourself and writing, sharing what you do!
Hi Marta, Thanks for the heartfelt post. I think it’s great you got a part-time job. I always find that I get more done the busier I am. I have two manuscripts in a drawer. My debut is my number 3 effort. Everyone would do it if it was easy, but we must just chug along. Loved the leaf metaphor!
Good question. I have to find a home for it first. About to hire a developmental editor as I think I have reached the end of my tether for the moment about 14 re-writes and lots of tweaks…
I never regretted hiring a developmental editor. Mine is a veteran in my genre and she was tough and meticulous, and it was hard revising, but my novel is much better for it.
It’s been an honor to be here with you as you go through this process. It’s been beautiful to watch, the ups and the downs. Listening to your thoughts, going to improv by your side. Love the journey! Great lessons there for everyone to ponder. ❤️
Haha! My love, are you sure about the downs being beautiful to watch? JK. I’m so grateful that you’ve held my hand, and my heart, as we go through this together. 😍
I'd held "C" level jobs in high tech before the dot com crash served up my truth, that I was a writer--that I always had been a writer and that my corporate ladder climbing was literally barking up the wrong tree. I ended up taking a full-time job (bills and a roof over my head, etc.) in an industry I was trained for and cared about: healthcare. It was a job that paid well, had insane benefits and that I could do in a couple of hours a day, most days. The rest of the time I wrote (yes, at work). My first novel got decent agent interest, but no takers. I flailed a bit, then wrote the second one. It's out on query now. And I've started a third with a caveat: I'm giving myself this summer to do exploratory writing (Camille's suggestion of course, love her). Your dream will come back. Phil Stutz, an amazing psychiatrist who's written a couple of mind-blowing books claims that three things in life are unavoidable: pain, uncertainty and the need for constant work. Very Buddhist, and for me very true. None of that detracts from our dreams though--not avoiding reality imho helps strengthen them. Hugs for you, Marta. Can't wait to read the third installment.
Jacqueline, thank you for sharing that with me. You've travelled many roads. I love that you found well paying work with benefits that also gave you time to write. We all have to pay the bills and fit writing in somehow, until we're Katherine Center, Taylor Jenkins Reid, or Camille Pagán! I appreciate you sharing how you have a drawer draft. I think knowing how many writers have one helps. Good luck on your second round of queries! And thanks for the Stutz wisdom. It rings true. Let me know if I can help you. You can certainly count me in for an early review once #2 is agented and published. I'm grateful you're here, reading my words. <3
You are the best!
Thanks for this. Some of the blah feelings and disappointment around creativity and such can be traced to burnout that can sneak up on us. The way a dream shows up can be nothing like we imagine it. And it might mean stepping away for a while or, looking at old work and see it a new way. Looking forward to part 3!
Thank you, Virginia. Burnout is definitely something I have to watch out for. Is that covered in your new book? Anyway, I’m so glad you’re here!
I do touch on burnout, mostly trying to avoid it!
I love this post. It made my day. Like Jacqueline, I too held several corporate jobs, many in high tech, many with the word "director" in the title, but I always felt like I was cosplaying a middle manager and making myself be something I'm not. Getting laid off in 2013 was a blessing--I started up my consulting business again, which allows me to (sort of) balance marketing writing and creativity writing. Looking forward to your next post.
Thanks for sharing, and I love knowing all of that about you. I especially liked how you described your corporate work as cosplay. I’ve never heard it described like that, but it totally fits.
I'm so glad you were able to take a restorative pause to fill the well.
I just listened to the latest episode of Camille Pagàn's Career Novelist podcast on this topic: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1RgYzwMhKiwLadTXbCNpFN
How lucky you are to have her for your writing coach!
Looking forward to reading the third part of this series.
Thank you, Heather, for reading and for the encouraging words. I’m super grateful Camille coaches novelists, and that I get to be one of them!
YES, YES, YES--thank you for sharing. I needed to hear this. How wonderful that you have found a bridge and new perspective. It's easy to fall into the mind trap of "anything but writing = failure." I'm sure many readers can relate, I know I do. Looking forward to part 3!
Thank you, Rachel! "Anything but writing = failure" is absolutely the mindset I had. That bridge has given me more then I imagines, and I'm so grateful for it! I'm so glad you could relate to this my friend! <3
I love the talk about drawer babies. My first novel is in a drawer, so is the second, and two other completed manuscripts. Two of my editing/coaching clients found their agents on the second novel I helped them with. Writing a novel is a learned skill, and as much as you may love that first novel, it might not be the one that gets you there.
Thanks for that grounding wisdom, Kathy. Admitting that my baby might be a drawer draft was a hard possibility for me to receive. As I know it is for every writer. Shelving four must be extra hard, and brave. You know it's not where it needs to be so you take your lessons and try again. I appreciate you being here!
Nothing is more powerful than learning you can write multiple novels. It doesn't hurt to stick them in a drawer (anymore) because each of them made me a better writer. One of them got me through COVID, but should never see the light of day. I gave up after writing 50,000 words of romance because this isn't the year for happy endings. Instead, I turned to a more fitting novel about climate change. A world of potential books opened up for me after I set the first one aside.
Is the climate change book available yet? And is that why you read Andrew Boyd's book “I Want A Better Catastrophe”? (If you're who I think you are *wink.)
August - and yes, it's one of my favorite books in recent years.
I love to read about people giving themselves permission to slow down. It reminds me that I can too.
Gabi, I'm so glad. It's funny how we need permission to slow down. I'm trying to listen to my body more. It's totally on to me and knows I need a break way before my mind does.
I'm glad. It took years of talking to myself before I stopped feeling guilty for being caught sitting down, reading...
Sometimes you just need to step back.
I know you know, Reta! And I know you know how hard it is to do that. Somehow it feels like we're losing time, and that we don't have much to spare. Thanks for your wise comment.
Yes exactly. Tick tock.
OMG this -- "Still, we push. And then one day, we show up with nothing. No spark. No energy. No ideas. Worse, we don’t care. And in slinks the most terrifying thought: I need to get a real job." -- I've been there, and it's awful. The creative burnout that we pushed ourselves into, the driving need to make something financially sustainable with our work but the feeling of failure and doubt that we'll never be able to attain that 😔 It can be soul crushing.
And then "trusting the pause so we can begin again" - YES. When I started trying to be an entrepreneur creating a remote-based job for myself, I couldn't seem to allow for this and repeated cycles of overwork, hyperfocus to depletion, burnout, survival mode...endlessly confused and feeling like it was my fault for not being able to figure out how to make a sustainable remote-work life for myself and desperately NEEDING it at the same time. It's so true and powerful that rest is a part of creative work, AND that when you let go and allow the Universe to work in your favor, the right opportunities come along in your path 💖
Yes!! Yes to all the things you said. I'm learning a lot from you. "Cycles of overwork, hyperfocus to depletion, burnout, survival mode" is so me also! I'm getting better at it. This last break taught me a lot. Now I'm paying more attention the the physical signs of burnout--like the burning eyes you mentioned during our chat. And then I cut my day short! Thanks for being here, Kira. I love your energy.
Yes haha it can be hard to notice the signals our body is sending at first, especially when our mind wants to keep pushing and doing all the things, ESPECIALLY if we're in creative flow space LOL. Thanks for being here yourself and writing, sharing what you do!
♥️♥️♥️
Hi Marta, Thanks for the heartfelt post. I think it’s great you got a part-time job. I always find that I get more done the busier I am. I have two manuscripts in a drawer. My debut is my number 3 effort. Everyone would do it if it was easy, but we must just chug along. Loved the leaf metaphor!
Hi Linda! Thank you for being here. I’m finding out a lot of writers have at least one drawer draft. When does your debut come out?
Good question. I have to find a home for it first. About to hire a developmental editor as I think I have reached the end of my tether for the moment about 14 re-writes and lots of tweaks…
I never regretted hiring a developmental editor. Mine is a veteran in my genre and she was tough and meticulous, and it was hard revising, but my novel is much better for it.
Would love to get her name. I am collecting them now…
This is what I got: https://foxprinteditorial.com/editing/multiple-pass-edit/
Thank you! I so appreciate that.
It’s been an honor to be here with you as you go through this process. It’s been beautiful to watch, the ups and the downs. Listening to your thoughts, going to improv by your side. Love the journey! Great lessons there for everyone to ponder. ❤️
Haha! My love, are you sure about the downs being beautiful to watch? JK. I’m so grateful that you’ve held my hand, and my heart, as we go through this together. 😍