Sharing this is profound. I'm reading an interesting book by Dr. Phil Stutz: True and False Magic. Lots of woo, but the book is compelling. There's documentary on Netflix, "Stutz" directed by Jonah Hill. I saw the documentary about 2 years ago, but hadn't connected it to Dr. Stutz' work. He's all about living the big dream. :)
I saw that doc! I loved hoe vulnerable Johna was. And thank you for saying that sharing this is profound. I'll have to check out Dr. Stutz's book. He was so compelling and kind in that doc.
Oh boy are you speaking to my heart with this one. "The ground needs time to recover." Oof! You've got me thinking new thoughts. Thank you for sharing this!! And the cliffhanger at the end...you should be a writer ;) Can't wait for the next one and so proud of and inspired by you!
Haha! You made me laugh, Rachel. I needed that. I know you're going through it, so I'm glad this essay planted new seeds in that beautiful brain of yours! You inspire me too sister, and I'm so proud of the author, and person, that you are.
I loved how you compared writing to agricultural seasons.
I don't normally do that, but after reading the first few paragraphs, I temporarily quit reading your story. It has reminded me of how I let my dream go for a while and prompted me to write about it. :)
Harriet, I love how you honored your inner call to stop reading something that prompted you to write about it. That's so brave! I hope what you wrote cleared some things up for you. Thanks for sharing this with me.
A lot of beauty in the honesty of that essay. It’s hard to admit to yourself, let alone the world, that you are not feeling it anymore. I’m so proud of you and how you face this journey of creating a novel! ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you sweetheart. Your support helps me to keep going. And thank you for your thoughtful comment and seeing what I didn't write. It is hard to admit to myself--and the world! But I hope my story inspires other people so that's why I do it.
Ah. I feel this in my soul, but in a good way. Like the pain of possibly quitting your dream was tempered by that insight of needing rest, time for composting what was already being cultivated within, time for new growth and heat and air intermingling with a little bit of decay to create new energy. Rest can do wonders for our perspective and creative flow, especially when we've been treating that output like a job. Excited to read what comes next Marta!💕
Thank you for sharing this, Marta. It really resonates with me. I quit writing about six months ago now. I was putting too much pressure on myself and it wasn't feeling good. At first, I felt like a failure, a quitter, and then I felt adrift. Who am I if I don't have my writing? Do I still belong in my writing communities? Slowly, I have come to actually embrace this break. I meet with my writing friends still, I have dabbled in other hobbies, and I am building my confidence back up. Most recently, I am starting to see the possibility of writing again in the future—maybe, no pressure:)
We are sisters. That pressure is what did me in also. I love how you’ve set writing free, but still meet with your writing friends, and you see that maybe, you’re a writer who’s just taking a luxurious break. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s inspiring. And I love how you love yourself through it. ♥️
What a beautiful post, Marta. I've felt the same way so many times. I recently read Mind Magic by Dr. James Doty, which really helped. After reading this post I also thought of the book Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times, by Katherine May. I truly believe that everything goes in cycles. But I have a hard time resting and retreating. :) I'm looking forward to reading the next post!
Cynthia, thank you for the encouraging comment. I’ve read Rest by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, but I’ll check out the two books you recommend. It wasn’t that I was working too hard, though. I definitely get my rest in! I just needed to step away from my project all together.
I've been there - AM there. And lately I've been saying, "You know, if you quit, you quit. No one is tracking you. Stop pressuring yourself. Do it for fun and when it stops being that, take a break." It is working to keep me - s l o w l y - at the novel. I love you, friend.
“It’s not quitting… it’s cultivating.” That!! Such truth and wisdom! I so honor and appreciate your raw, tender, vulnerable share, and look forward to reading parts two and three! And I’m honored to be quoted in here! 🙌✨🙏
I am so grateful for your raw honesty here. I have had many moments during my novel-writing process when I wonder if I'm actually up to the task. Like, even if I want it, am I even capable? Somehow, there is a still a flicker of light, so I keep showing up. But it is no joke to say this dream is a tough one to harness.
I swear writing a novel is the hardest thing I’ve done, and I’ve done a lot of hard things. But you and I are in the trenches, Maria. We hold that flicker of light with awe and it shines pinpricks sometimes, but it’s enough to see with. It doesn’t outshine the doubt, the worry that we’re not up for the task, but I think it keeps us showing up and that makes us better writers.
One lesson I had to learn in my 30s (and beyond) :) was flexibility. Things don’t often don’t turn out how we imagine or want them to be… sometimes the result is better!
Thanks for the encouragement! And the wisdom. I did have to mourn the loss of my idea of how I imagined things turning out. I'm looking forward to better results. Well, what's that saying, "Expect the worst and hope for the best." Maybe accept the worst--that this dream of mine may not happen--but work towards making it so.
Sharing this is profound. I'm reading an interesting book by Dr. Phil Stutz: True and False Magic. Lots of woo, but the book is compelling. There's documentary on Netflix, "Stutz" directed by Jonah Hill. I saw the documentary about 2 years ago, but hadn't connected it to Dr. Stutz' work. He's all about living the big dream. :)
I saw that doc! I loved hoe vulnerable Johna was. And thank you for saying that sharing this is profound. I'll have to check out Dr. Stutz's book. He was so compelling and kind in that doc.
Such a painful experience to hit rock bottom and ponder quitting your big dream. I'm eager to read the next installment.
And I second Jacqueline's recommendation of the Stutz book. It's great!
Right? Thank you for understanding. And now I must get that book!
Oh boy are you speaking to my heart with this one. "The ground needs time to recover." Oof! You've got me thinking new thoughts. Thank you for sharing this!! And the cliffhanger at the end...you should be a writer ;) Can't wait for the next one and so proud of and inspired by you!
Haha! You made me laugh, Rachel. I needed that. I know you're going through it, so I'm glad this essay planted new seeds in that beautiful brain of yours! You inspire me too sister, and I'm so proud of the author, and person, that you are.
I loved how you compared writing to agricultural seasons.
I don't normally do that, but after reading the first few paragraphs, I temporarily quit reading your story. It has reminded me of how I let my dream go for a while and prompted me to write about it. :)
I look forward to reading part 2.
Harriet, I love how you honored your inner call to stop reading something that prompted you to write about it. That's so brave! I hope what you wrote cleared some things up for you. Thanks for sharing this with me.
Hi Marta,
Thank you for responding to my comment.
I stopped reading but then I came back and finished it - it's worth stating. :)
What I wrote is something very different from what you wrote, and it is how it should be. That was a dreamy piece, I think. A hopeful one.
True, writing helps organizing one's thoughts, putting it into a frame. In this case, into a nicely carved wooden one. ;)
Thanks for triggering it with your story.
Best,
H.
A lot of beauty in the honesty of that essay. It’s hard to admit to yourself, let alone the world, that you are not feeling it anymore. I’m so proud of you and how you face this journey of creating a novel! ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you sweetheart. Your support helps me to keep going. And thank you for your thoughtful comment and seeing what I didn't write. It is hard to admit to myself--and the world! But I hope my story inspires other people so that's why I do it.
Ah. I feel this in my soul, but in a good way. Like the pain of possibly quitting your dream was tempered by that insight of needing rest, time for composting what was already being cultivated within, time for new growth and heat and air intermingling with a little bit of decay to create new energy. Rest can do wonders for our perspective and creative flow, especially when we've been treating that output like a job. Excited to read what comes next Marta!💕
Thank you Kira. You totally got me in such a poetic eay!
Thank you for sharing this, Marta. It really resonates with me. I quit writing about six months ago now. I was putting too much pressure on myself and it wasn't feeling good. At first, I felt like a failure, a quitter, and then I felt adrift. Who am I if I don't have my writing? Do I still belong in my writing communities? Slowly, I have come to actually embrace this break. I meet with my writing friends still, I have dabbled in other hobbies, and I am building my confidence back up. Most recently, I am starting to see the possibility of writing again in the future—maybe, no pressure:)
We are sisters. That pressure is what did me in also. I love how you’ve set writing free, but still meet with your writing friends, and you see that maybe, you’re a writer who’s just taking a luxurious break. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s inspiring. And I love how you love yourself through it. ♥️
What a beautiful post, Marta. I've felt the same way so many times. I recently read Mind Magic by Dr. James Doty, which really helped. After reading this post I also thought of the book Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times, by Katherine May. I truly believe that everything goes in cycles. But I have a hard time resting and retreating. :) I'm looking forward to reading the next post!
Cynthia, thank you for the encouraging comment. I’ve read Rest by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, but I’ll check out the two books you recommend. It wasn’t that I was working too hard, though. I definitely get my rest in! I just needed to step away from my project all together.
Rest is a great book! And I hear you about needing to step away from a project.
I've been there - AM there. And lately I've been saying, "You know, if you quit, you quit. No one is tracking you. Stop pressuring yourself. Do it for fun and when it stops being that, take a break." It is working to keep me - s l o w l y - at the novel. I love you, friend.
I love you too, Renee. ♥️
“It’s not quitting… it’s cultivating.” That!! Such truth and wisdom! I so honor and appreciate your raw, tender, vulnerable share, and look forward to reading parts two and three! And I’m honored to be quoted in here! 🙌✨🙏
Thanks Megan! I honor and appreciate you, and so blessed to share a bit of you. How fabulous it is to have your light in this space.
Right back atcha! And you sure sparkle yourself!
I am so grateful for your raw honesty here. I have had many moments during my novel-writing process when I wonder if I'm actually up to the task. Like, even if I want it, am I even capable? Somehow, there is a still a flicker of light, so I keep showing up. But it is no joke to say this dream is a tough one to harness.
I swear writing a novel is the hardest thing I’ve done, and I’ve done a lot of hard things. But you and I are in the trenches, Maria. We hold that flicker of light with awe and it shines pinpricks sometimes, but it’s enough to see with. It doesn’t outshine the doubt, the worry that we’re not up for the task, but I think it keeps us showing up and that makes us better writers.
Yes! Keep going!!!
One lesson I had to learn in my 30s (and beyond) :) was flexibility. Things don’t often don’t turn out how we imagine or want them to be… sometimes the result is better!
Thanks for the encouragement! And the wisdom. I did have to mourn the loss of my idea of how I imagined things turning out. I'm looking forward to better results. Well, what's that saying, "Expect the worst and hope for the best." Maybe accept the worst--that this dream of mine may not happen--but work towards making it so.
It’s healthy to take breaks… I think forcing creative stories can hurt a project.
For sure! It hurt mine by giving me writers’ block.
Brutal…